Eight Ways To Spook Your Remote Audience

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Presenting to a face-to-face audience is difficult, even scary.

Presenting to a remote audience in a webinar, teleseminar or virtual event is difficult squared. It can be frightening and unsettling.

Eight Ways To Haunt Your Remote Audience

Here are eight non-tips and tricks that horror movies avoid. These are guaranteed to create dread and fear in your viewers for the wrong reasons.

1. Ensure that viewers’ distractions are more interesting than your presentation.

Many horror flicks distract viewers in order to create an unexpected scare. Make sure that your presentation is boring so that viewers’ distractions keep their minds off of you.

2. Embrace the same old same old.

Often sequel, prequel and series chillers are nothing more than rehashed stories without any new surprises. Whatever you do, don’t be resourceful. Keep your presentation full of cobwebs and dust like haunted houses.

3. Use a monotone voice without any inflection and keep the energy level low.

Many horror films grab the attention of their audience with an unexpected opening. Avoid being dynamic so that your viewers face their worst fears: a dull speaker and terrifying presentation.

4. Present solo.

Most scary movies have a villain and a hero with a supporting cast of characters that often die throughout the film. Whatever you do, make sure that you are a solo presenter so that your cast doesn’t die a slow death with the audience.

5. Don’t engage the audience.

Some of the most frightening thriller movies dump the special effects and use subtlety to engage the audience’s minds. Avoid having your audience think. Don’t involve your participants early and often.

6. Fill your presentation with irrelevant drivel.

Most macabre movies follow a traditional story line of an unknown terrifying force that needs to be defeated. The movie unveils important elements of the story in a methodical manner. Don’t follow their pattern. Instead aim to confuse your viewer. Fill your presentation with meaningless information.

7. Avoid the unexpected.

Many scary movies are filled with sound effects, pulsing music and scare tactics. These add to the experience and serve as a way to keep the viewer off-balance unaware of what lurks around the corner. Don’t use stories, examples, humor, visuals or music to engage your viewers. Keep them off-balance with a traditional, expected boring presentation.

8. Make it boring.

People like horror films because they entertain and are fun. Some people enjoy going to haunted houses during Halloween to get an adrenalin rush. Keep your digital presentation boring and at all costs, avoid making it fun!

What are other ways presenters can spook their remote audiences? What haunts you about the worst virtual presentations you’ve ever seen?

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4 comments
  1. Pat Ahaesy says:

    This is hilarious and unfortunately so true. If only the folks who should read this, actually will and get it.

    1. Jeff Hurt says:

      ‘@Pat
      Thanks for reading and commenting. 😉

  2. Michelle (aka: ExpoQueenUSA) says:

    That IS “spooky”!!! Unfortunately I have attended a few of these.

  3. Talk fast in a monotone as if you need to get out of the room before the goblins comes in.

    Use irrelevant or outdated facts, examples, or stories by giving a canned message you have been giving for years, and even you have lost interest in giving — as if you will be gobbled up by competing speakers (standing just a few feet away in the shadows, disguised in costume) if you look seem like you might be competition for them

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